Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone! Be safe stay away from the tricks but get plenty of treats!

learning to exhale

I don't know exactly why I decided I wanted to quit smoking. It wasn't something I was actively thinking about but my friend did it and then my other friend said she was interested in going to the smoking cessation class so I said I would go with her. It took me about 2 weeks after joining the class to actually quit smoking but as of today it has been 2 weeks and 1 day since I've had a cigarette and let me tell you this...........It sucks!!!!!!!!!

Ok so I like the fact that my hair still smells pretty and that my clothes don't smell like smoke and that I'm not waking up to a coughing fit every morning. I just hate the cravings and urges that I have to fight every single day several times a day. I started out using the patch and gum to help me stop smoking and it was helpful but I haven't used anything in a while.......maybe it would help to start using it again.

My family and friends have been very supportive of my choice to quit smoking and I feel very blessed. Even my friends and family that still smoke don't do it right in front of me and I really appreciate it. But man do I want to smoke!!!!!!!!! Ok so I say this several times a day and believe it or not, it actually helps me to release some of the desire to smoke. hehe

will post something soon.......

ok so i completely forgot about this whole blog thing but i'm back! i will post something better soon and hopefully you will find it interesting....

Guitar

Ok I had my first guitar lesson about a week ago and my homework was to work on a chord, just one chord. It is the hardest thing for me to learn. I can't even hold the guitar right and it feels really strange. Perhaps I just need to time to get comfortable with the instrument and learn how to position my fingers so they don't block the other strings. It's a little frustrating but I know that a little determination and practice will help.

I really do want to learn howto play the guitar and I expected that it would not be easy. I was just hoping that I wouldn't have such a hard time........Hmm....maybe it isn't meant to be..

I WANT TO SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so for the past maybe 5 years, I've had a bit of stage fright. I don't know why I developed this fear of performing when I did it throughout my childhood and even some of my teenage years. As an adult, it just doesn't feel comfortable.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love singing but even when I go with a group of friends for a night of karaoke, I can't bring myself to sing a song without finishing a JD/diet coke first. I need to get some alcohol in my system and even after that drink I'm still shaking!

Last weekend, we went to Oceans and I was pulled up to sing with the band. My legs were shaking so bad and I couldn't hear myself! I was sweating and looking at the crowd to see their reaction to what I thought was me screeching! I can't explain how I felt, it was horrible and exhilarating at the same time. I was scared and wanted to run and hide but I also wanted to sing! So I did and when it was all over I was embarrassed and wanted to leave. Fortunately, my friends were nice enough to tell me I did fine. LOL!

Oh when will this end?! I just want to sing!!!!!!!! Why do I feel so scared?!!!!!

Boring Saturday

So this weekend was pretty uneventful. I didn't really expect much to be happening but I was very surprised at how boring my Saturday was. I stayed home practically all day watching tv but I usually enjoy those days because I rarely watch tv. I guess I just didn't want to be at home this weekend, oh well I'm looking forward to next weekend!

What did you do this weekend?

Roller Coaster

It has been quite a month! With a wedding last month, a bunch of farewells at the airport, my uncle's passing, the birth of my niece, the loss of another niece or perhaps a nephew, and my sister's trip to the emergency room.......my family has been through quite an emotional roller coaster. All of this happened in a span of a month!

I have to admit though that I am truly blessed with a wonderful family. Aunties and Uncles who can get on my nerves because they always have to add their 2 cents into everything, but they mean well and only interfere because they care. My cousins are amazing people and I feel much closer to everyone now. I really saw this past month how my family really binds together in times of joy and sorrow and I know that I will never ever be alone.

My friends have also had their own frustrations but still have made themselves available to me when I really needed them. My life is actually pretty awesome! Well at least the people in my life are! So I just want say thank you to my family and my friends for being great people. I love you!